who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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