I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
We need to rekindle our bromance
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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