Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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