So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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