Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want to make a zoo with you.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
