you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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