He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
