you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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