Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
