you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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