He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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