I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
