D3 body, D1 cock
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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