You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
