Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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