either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I showed him my bush... on skype.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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