dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize