i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
