There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
