My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
