i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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