how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
