ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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