the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
