Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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