She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
