I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
