The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Randomize
