hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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