I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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