Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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