Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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