he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
