And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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