His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
