it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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