Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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