i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
