at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
