Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
