i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The adults are the big ones right?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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