So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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