i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
