i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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