fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
