apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
