wakey wakey hands off snakey
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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