whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
