life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
