i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
