i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
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