I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
