first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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