I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
