i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
