I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
