At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
be right there i have to get my cape
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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