Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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